Is it just me or is it me?

I just feel so tired at everything. Everyone. Have I set a standard so high on people around me that I feel just so let down? Or am I just making things miserable for myself and the people around me?

What went on the past few years? Did I drive myslf down a dead end or did I miss the signs alon the way? Did I refuse to let others hitch a ride or I just prefer to walk alone?

Have I been making the wrong choices and decisions? Have I been wrong in my thoughts and ways?

I just want to stop and find rest and peace.

I did not find that in church. I lost that with God. People have been telling me to go back to church and to go back to God. To not put faith in people. But they cannot understand the loss of faith and peace I once had in God and church. If I cannot have faith in people and I cannot find faith in God, where then do I turn?

Can anyone understand me or what I am trying to say? I have been misunderstood so often and my words so misconstrued that I really do not want and cannot be bothered to explain anything.

Sometimes I just want to lay in bed all day and stare up the ceiling till I float away and disappear.

Have you ever laughed while watching tv but inside your heart is aching?