My Personal Dna Report

I think I have a very funny friendship going on, if we are all still considered friends...

You see, I used to have a group of friends. We used to hang out all the time together, even when we had started working and going our separate ways. Then one day, a conflict broke out between me and another girl and things are never the same anymore. Even after I had tried to make peace, it just seemed that quietly, I have been dropped by the entire group, even if the conflict was only between me and the girl.

Some time ago, they started a group blog where everyone wrote on the same blog. Well, not everyone; I did not. But I was not the only one who did not. In any case, I also began to see that they have moved on with life without me. Just like that. I was never called for any gatherings anymore. Invitations to my place are always 'politely' turned down, whatever the reasons may be. I stopped asking after the last one.

I just think that you cannot say I did not try. Because I did.

So what is the issue here? Well, after telling myself no point reading their writings if it does not involve me anymore, I 'tuned' in today and found that a new picture had been posted. And I was in the picture.

I just find it ironic and kind of an insult. What is the point of finding a picture that had me in it when it seems quite clear that I am not of the group anymore?

Am I petty? Not that I know of. I am just bewildered at the status of the situation.

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Today I received another of Life's lessons.

You really cannot pre-empt who sees you as important and who really does not care.

I was surprised this evening when I received text messages from someone who wanted to meet me because she was in low spirits. I had not felt needed by someone else for a long time. Irony is she was also feeling redundant. Reality is she actually has two beautiful children who thinks the world of her. I have not any body.

And she is a lady in her forties. Kind of late and weird to be feeling insecure at this age.
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I hate to think and say this, but the truth is:

Love yourself, for you never know when others will stop loving you. If you cannot see yourself as being important to you, when others stop caring, you will be lost.

I was sick the past two weeks, caught a cold. But before that, I had become disinterested in my work too. Just found it a challenge to wake myself up each morning to go to work.

Not that I hate my work. In fact it had nothing to do with work. Rather it had more to do with the people I am working with and for. Then again, at the end of the day I have to tell myself these people are just behaving in a normal, expected manner. I should not upset myself so much with them and be too bothered with how they are. As long as I do my job well and stand faultless, they cannot do much to me. The irony of course is that the powers that be up above me have not exactly been mean to me. In fact my boss is quite generous towards me and my colleagues have noted so too. But then it is really the general overall operations and management that really drags one's spirits down.

Can you believe that for a few miserable hundered dollars worth of the 13th month wage I have to get it in two instalments and it is now March but I have received only the first half of it. Any one will find that a stinko right?

In any case, just as I was feeling shitty working at a stink-hole like this, my boss announced to me he will be bringing me to the US of A with him to attend some conferences and meet some vendors. Whoopee right?! Unfortunately, it came at a time when I was templating leaving. How ironic. I could almost swear it was as if he heard my discontent and is dangling this in front of me to make me stay. Then today he told me to make a business trip up to my Bangkok office without one of my colleagues who is supposed to go up with me to conduct a workshop there. The funny thing is that guy should be the one to go and I stay back because he is the one conducting the class, not me. Yet my boss did not ask me to stay behind instead. It felt like he is dangling a carrot in front of me to distract me from the welfare and benefits discontent.

Anyway, I decided to just do as I am told and think less. Carry on in a robotic manner till I have amassed enough 'wealth' before moving on to the next phase of my life. Heehee...

Therefore, AMELIKA.... Here I come!

The Sonnet Deliberate Gentle Love Dreamer (DGLDf) Romantic, hopeful, and composed. You are the Sonnet. Get it? Composed? Sonnets want Love and have high ideals about it. They're conscientious people, caring & careful. You yourself have deep convictions, and you devote a lot of thought to romance and what it should be. This will frighten away most potential mates, but that's okay, because you're very choosy with your affections anyway. You'd absolutely refuse to date someone dumber than you, for instance. Your exact opposite: Genghis Khunt Random Brutal Sex Master Lovers who share your idealized perspective, or who are at least willing to totally throw themselves into a relationship, will be very, very happy with you. And you with them. You're already selfless and compassionate, and with the right partner, there's no doubt you can be sensual, even adventurously so. You probably have lots of female friends, and they have a special soft spot for you. Babies do, too, at the tippy-top of their baby skulls. ALWAYS AVOID: The 5-Night Stand, The False Messiah, The Hornivore, The Last Man on Earth CONSIDER: The Loverboy Link: The 32-Type Dating Test by OkCupid - Free Online Dating.