I'm back.

Haha. Because I tried another provider and it was too confusing for me to navigate around, although it has alot more features. However, I'm the kind of gal who is at a lost in big bookshops and supermarkets for what to buy. Or maybe I am just too comforted by the familiar. I'm not one who really likes changes in things that are close to me, although I'm all for exciting changes for the better. Conflicting? You bet. I'm not quite sure what I am.

In fact, I have been feeling quite uncertain of myself the past few days. Never felt more insecure and inept when it comes to work. This morning, I was even contemplating throwing in the towel and was all ready to start looking for a new job. A short chat with a mentor delayed me a little and got me thinking perhaps I was too harsh on myself. IT is after all, only a week into my job.

I guess the insecurities came in a few ways; one being I was suddenly expected to do what I had never done before, and that was my role as a PA. I have never felt more guilty in my life before now that I have to make milo for my boss every morning when I don't even do that for my parents. Told my mum maybe I should start waking up a little earlier to make them breakfast to alleviate my guilt; haha. On top of that, I had to fit in the role of an office administrator (read: office auntie). So suddenly, it was my RESPONSIBILITY to ensure that the pantry is filled and cleaned and the rubbish emptied etc., etc.. Lastly, I felt that the person I replaced have ingrained her presence very well in the office and it seemed like I have very big shoes to fill. This is hard when I'm not even familiar with the products and industry I'm supposed to market. Sigh. Then like a bolt of lightning out of nowhere, I was in the shower when it suddenly hit me that the reason I am feeling so stressed is because for the first time, the general good performance of my employer's business is dependant on me! At the Home, although I had to work hard at fundraising, still I will not get grilled if I don't hit the target amount. Whatever I can bring in is good. Now, I have to justify every marketing penny with the returns. So, stress or not?

Besides, I like my new company and the 'company'. All bubbly and energetic. We have a weekly session of games (any games/sports), a time for us to bond outside of office hours. On top of that, many of them arrange activities together on the weekends as well. Like tonight, they arranged to go for dinner together, even those on leave will make an effort to join in. I like that kind of camaderie and spirit. They call the officeplace 'family'. Cool.

I plan to start a blog for them too, chronicling all the activities and candid shots. Once I figure out what to name the blog. Haha.