I hate conflicts. You mean no one knew?! That is why I always prefer nipping things in the bud before they get out of hand. Once they do, I usually just fade away, far from the gunfiring. I do not like talking about things once it has exploded as well, because I feel both parties will be too defensive to listen to anything, myself included. I would rather wait till I can recall the incident and no longer feel any pinch, then I go ask about it. Different people need different lengths of cooling periods, for different matters. Sometimes I calm down very fast, sometimes it takes a while. But I never believe that you hold a grudge forever. I know I do not.
I hate assumptions too. It hurts everyone when meanings are misinterpreted and emotions run wild following that. I am sometimes guilty of assuming too, but I always consciously remind myself I should not. And I apologize for it. When people assume, a few things happen: you feel hurt, you hurt others, you do not bother to find out the truth, you do not listen to the truth. Always remember that 'ASS U ME = assume'. Especially if you are not aware of ALL the details and heads and tails of the issue, DO NOT join in. You will only fan the flames stronger.
No matter how bad things go, I never tell anyone goodbye and that I am leaving for good. As mentioned earlier, no grudges are forever. It just takes time to cool things down. Remember the song that goes 'And friends are friends forever, If the Lord's the Lord of them; And a friend will not say never, 'Cause the welcome will not end'. We cannot choose family, or the bratty sister and annoying brother. But we sure as hell chose our friends. To have chosen EACH OTHER, there must be some karma cosmic at play. Do I not see nods?
Things are getting very ugly, and unpleasant. But if I am seen as the perpetrator here, then go ahead and stone me if it makes everyone happier.
I just believe that as friends, you cannot tell them how to think or what to do. The best is just to listen and be around when they need you. Perhaps I have not listened enough myself. Perhaps no one listened when I talked. But at this point it is no longer important, because it seems that there are alot more other issues at play here than 'who did not call whom'.
Michael W. Smith - Friends Are Friends Forever
Packing up the dreams God planted
In the fertile soil of you
I can't believe the hopes He's granted
Means a chapter of your life is through
But we'll keep you close as always
It won't even seem you've gone
'Cause our hearts in big and small ways
Will keep the love that keeps us strong
And friends are friends forever
If the Lord's the Lord of them
And a friend will not say never
'Cause the welcome will not end
Though it's hard to let you go
In the Father's hands we know
That a lifetime's not too long
To live as friends
And with the faith and love God's given
Springing from the hope we know
We will pray the joy you live in
Is the strength that now you show
We'll keep you close as always
It won't even seem you've gone
'Cause our hearts in big and small ways
Will keep the love that keeps us strong
And friends are friends forever
If the Lord's the Lord of them
And a friend will not say never
'Cause the welcome will not end
Though it's hard to let you go
In the Father's hands we know
That a lifetime's not too long
To live as friends
And friends are friends forever
If the Lord's the Lord of them
And a friend will not say never
'Cause the welcome will not end
Though it's hard to let you go
In the Father's hands we know
That a lifetime's not too long
To live as friends
To live as friends
Though it's hard to let you go
In the Father's hands we know
That a lifetime's not too long
To live as friends
No a lifetime's not too long
To live as friends
Going through the lyrics, it makes me realise it is both a sad song and a happy song. Perhaps it is time for the friend to move on, so that is sad, but the friend will know that he is always a friend, so that should be happy. Whether we take this song as a whole or just parts of it, I just want to say that I do appreciate ALL and every one of you, for everything that was done for me. And I do remember. Do you think your mum does not love you just because she did not say so? So why think I have forgotten just because it was never mentioned? Is friendship something that you make a physical record of every incident and reciprocate every act? I do not think that is possible! How can we peg a value to every act that comes forth and say if it is as much or less than another?
I do not want to continue listing who did what and who did not do what anymore. It is becoming meaningless.
