I forgot one point when I blogged the previous entry. That one of the guys will be reading it! Oops. Well, whatever. Not that I am fickle or flirtatious. Just asking a very honest question and playing my cards very openly. This is good right? At least it is known I am not playing around with either of them... Hee.

Work really sucked recently. I am so disappointed with Doreen. Well, what would it take her to offer me a little increment just to keep me? It is not that I am greedy or materialistic or even playing 'I'm gonna quit' tactics to get attention. The issue here is if she were so sincere in having me remain, why did she not make that sincerity tangible? Ah, my friends have heard my rumblings so I shall end it as it is. The vice-chairman did call me today and ask why I am resigning. Said he wanted to buy me lunch. Haha. Another one of them. But I will lunch with him. Just to hear what he wants to say to me. After all, not like the first time they are trying to worm information out of me through 'generous acts' as such.

Hmm... Loads about my work lately. But then, there is not much to say other than work. Not that other aspects of my life is well and dandy. More like they are too depressing to bring it up again after they have happened. For one, I am truly upset and disappointed with my family. On three separate occasions, three different groups of friends have heard about my trip to Hong Kong and Guangzhou with my parents and all have asked the same thing: 'Are you sure you are your parents' own child? You better get a DNA test.' One even told me point-blank: 'No offence but I think you need to be prepared for the day you need to move out.' How much more depressing can that get? It just tells, the way they treat me, what and how much I mean to them. Oh, I am past the age of feeling jealous and envious of my younger brother and sister. It has simply boiled down to the fact that I cannot fathom why I am getting such 'preferential' treatment from my parents. I would be a block of wood not to feel anything. But I am not, so I feel something.

Sometimes when I allow myself to wallow, I feel self-pity. Sometimes I simply feel rejected. There are also times when I tried to put on a brave front and tell people I do not care for their affections anymore anyway. But hey, even if I fooled them I cannot fool myself.

Rejections from employers are part of life. Rejections from crushes get dulled. But how do you live with rejection from your own family? The people who are supposed to be by your side 'no matter what happens'?!

Haiz. Why think so much right? Tomorrow is another day.

Another better day.