Your Brain is 66.67% Female, 33.33% Male

Your brain leans female You think with your heart, not your head Sweet and considerate, you are a giver But you're tough enough not to let anyone take advantage of you!

What Gender Is Your Brain?

Phew, so much for acting 'like a man'. Haha..

Going back to bed now for another 2 hours...

You Are A Good Friend

You're always willing to listen Or lend a shoulder to cry on You're there through thick and thin Many people consider you their "best friend"!

What Kind of Friend Are You?

Eh, is that so? Cannot recall people who said that...

You Belong in 1974

1974 If you scored... 1950 - 1959: You're fun loving, romantic, and more than a little innocent. See you at the drive in! 1960 - 1969: You are a free spirit with a huge heart. Love, peace, and happiness rule - oh, and drugs too. 1970 - 1979: Bold and brash, you take life by the horns. Whether you're partying or protesting, you give it your all! 1980 - 1989: Wild, over the top, and just a little bit cheesy. You're colorful at night - and successful during the day. 1990 - 1999: With you anything goes! You're grunge one day, ghetto fabulous the next. It's all good!

What Year Do You Belong In?

You can tell by now I cannot get back to sleep huh? Haha.

'Peace dude'?!

You Will Die at Age 70

70 You're pretty average when it comes to how you live... And how you'll die as well.

What Age Will You Die?

What does it mean to die average? In my sleep or on a hospital bed with tubes up my nose? Anyway I always believed I would die old.

You Are 25 Years Old

25 Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe. 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

How exciting, I am acting exactly as my age...

ISABEL
I	is for	Innocent
S	is for	Striking
A	is for	Articulate
B	is for	Bold
E	is for	Ebullient
L	is for	Lucky

What Does Your Name Mean?

Any disputes?

This allergy thing is driving me nuts. It is nearly five in the morning and I am woken up by swollen airways and a nose that would not stop itching. And, I had to go wash my eyes and apply eyedrops. This is really serious. I need to get out of the building. All the dust there flying around will kill me before the workload does.

Is it wrong of me to want out? In view of everything. Now I have been made to feel bad for resigning, that I have let someone down and disappointed her. Who is she? Doreen. Sigh.

But I am so tired. My hours are screwed and I feel burnt out.

Should I retract my resignation?

I forgot one point when I blogged the previous entry. That one of the guys will be reading it! Oops. Well, whatever. Not that I am fickle or flirtatious. Just asking a very honest question and playing my cards very openly. This is good right? At least it is known I am not playing around with either of them... Hee.

Work really sucked recently. I am so disappointed with Doreen. Well, what would it take her to offer me a little increment just to keep me? It is not that I am greedy or materialistic or even playing 'I'm gonna quit' tactics to get attention. The issue here is if she were so sincere in having me remain, why did she not make that sincerity tangible? Ah, my friends have heard my rumblings so I shall end it as it is. The vice-chairman did call me today and ask why I am resigning. Said he wanted to buy me lunch. Haha. Another one of them. But I will lunch with him. Just to hear what he wants to say to me. After all, not like the first time they are trying to worm information out of me through 'generous acts' as such.

Hmm... Loads about my work lately. But then, there is not much to say other than work. Not that other aspects of my life is well and dandy. More like they are too depressing to bring it up again after they have happened. For one, I am truly upset and disappointed with my family. On three separate occasions, three different groups of friends have heard about my trip to Hong Kong and Guangzhou with my parents and all have asked the same thing: 'Are you sure you are your parents' own child? You better get a DNA test.' One even told me point-blank: 'No offence but I think you need to be prepared for the day you need to move out.' How much more depressing can that get? It just tells, the way they treat me, what and how much I mean to them. Oh, I am past the age of feeling jealous and envious of my younger brother and sister. It has simply boiled down to the fact that I cannot fathom why I am getting such 'preferential' treatment from my parents. I would be a block of wood not to feel anything. But I am not, so I feel something.

Sometimes when I allow myself to wallow, I feel self-pity. Sometimes I simply feel rejected. There are also times when I tried to put on a brave front and tell people I do not care for their affections anymore anyway. But hey, even if I fooled them I cannot fool myself.

Rejections from employers are part of life. Rejections from crushes get dulled. But how do you live with rejection from your own family? The people who are supposed to be by your side 'no matter what happens'?!

Haiz. Why think so much right? Tomorrow is another day.

Another better day.

Is it considered two-timing if you like two guys and considering them at the same time? Waiting only to see who will act first. My sister said no. I thought no too. Is it fair to them? Well, they could be doing the same to me too, before confirming if it is really me they want. In this case, will I be playing fair to go up to one and ask if he likes me while the other is still making up his mind about you? Am I giving them both equal chances then? Am I being fair to myself? Am I denying myself anything here?

It is the middle of a work day and I have absolutely no mood to work. Never mind that I have hardly done anything since this morning. Ok for one I have a heavy head. Honest. *crosses my heart* And for another, well, truth be told, the head is swimming a little with the things I am supposed to do and therefore I am at a loss as to which to do first. Lastly, well I have never done this before but here goes: I think it is PMS. Haha. Some of you might know I never blame anything on PMS BECAUSE I never get it; but now, for want of an excuse so lame to explain my laziness, so I say PMS. Hee.

Late last night Doreen messaged me to say I need not attend the interviews this week and that she will talk over with me what we had discussed yesterday afternoon. About her offer to me to stay on and my query of the incentives for doing so. Well this morning she came to my room and clarified that while the Chairman gave instructions to expand the department and she wants me to stay on to guide the new staff, she was not thinking of moving me up the ranks OR getting someone above me. Meaning things are to remain status quo. 'Eh, then I stay for what ah? No incentive, no enticement leh...'

So, I go.

However on a positive note, she asked if I would be available to help on project basis if they so require in future, especially the near future. Hey, of course. Never turn down work offers. Talk about payment later. The important thing is to establish the network and goodwill first. That is my belief anyway.

Please.......... somebody, anybody. the next time you hear me planning a trip with my parents, PLEASE stop me. The last trip is exactly that. Last trip. Just what have I ever done to deserve what I get from them? Sheesh. Just leave me alone from now on. The trip is more torturous than enjoyable. Well in any case, I did not go for holidays. I had an agenda and I achieved it. That is all I care.

Of course the trip was not all dreary. Met up with my friend in Hong Kong. 'Hey Sam! Miss me still?' Ha ha. Nice fellow. Anybody interested to know a tall, not bad-looking nice guy from Hong Kong? Kekeke...

I also got to meet up with my long-time friend working in Shenzhen. He looks so different now. Sigh. And I cannot say it was for the better. Haha. The toils of working night life.

On a really positive note, I received texts from my colleague while in China saying that the Chairman has given instructions to expand my department further than the one assistant I am hiring now and Doreen is supporting me to stay on. Now what I am unclear of is if I will be staying to oversee the new recruits or if they will be in the same rank as I am. Frankly if it is the latter, I have absolutely no incentive to stay on. However, if they are talking about a promotion and raise then we have some grounds for discussion now.

Keeping my fingers crossed till I return to work tomorrow. Oh! By the way, Chairman praised the proposal I submitted before going off. He said it was impressive.

Hee.