Just what does HE want from me? HE kept pushing me away and when I have finally put on my shoes and walked off, here HE comes with another hat trick to upset me again. Actually it is more of an irritant than an upset. Why did HE say that I can hold on to his possessions? Hello, we are talking about an ATM card here, not birthday card. Why is HE so alright with me having access to HIS money? Yes, I know HIS PIN. Crazy is it not?

Of course I figured deep in HIS heart it is probably because HE is hoping that as long as I hold on to HIS things it will mean there is a possibility for us to get back together. If this had happened two months ago then yes, HE is probably right. But now that I have made up my mind to walk away from all these, the chance is slim. Not because I no longer love HIM but because I no longer want to (think about) be with HIM. Even when I was still adamant about us getting back together previously, I had the fear that HE will walk out again the day the pressure got too much for HIM to handle. How much more now?

I have no more confidence that our love will last and our love is all it takes to be and stay together. I am tired of this charade and dragging of our feet through the mud. I am tired of the uncertainty of the future and of another person's commitment to me.

'Please just leave me alone. After all, you left me.'

I am happy with my life now. I am happy meeting people I want to meet. I am happy doing things I want to do. I am happy BEING happy. I do not want to go back to feeling unhappy and uncertain and insecure.