Hmm... Why should I let HIM affect me so? It should not and HE should not. I love HIM. But I really no longer desire to be back with HIM. It hurts too much and no one, not even HIM, can tell me that the second time round everything will be better, rosier, happier. We might, or might not, know better what to do. But things will definitely not be the same as it was. I could love HIM as much as I had but it is not the same love. As I have said before, there will always be a shadow hanging over us and it is not just because of the history of a break up. Rather it is because of what I know, what HE does not know I know, and what I know HE will not give up, even for me.

Well, since I have made my decision to move on I should. Regardless of what HE is saying or doing now, regardless of my current situation. Why am I so silly as to let HIM affect me anymore?