Was out with a friend this afternoon. Had this sudden urge to blog but since I had no internet access of any kind, I wrote it down on a serviette and this is what I wrote:

'I'm feeling super pissed! I Give Up! I do not want to play this game anymore. The rules are not laid out. The game is not explained. I'm not willing to sit out and wait because there is no point; as we do not see each other often enough for me to be able to assess if there are any developments. STUPID! Bleah.'

And that is exactly how I feel. I'm letting this go. Irony of this? I wrote that while sitting in the starbucks beside the gym. Hahaha...

Anyway, I've decided that I'm not going to let another guy fuck around with my mind or heart anymore. Yes, it's very strong words. but I'm feeling very strongly about this too.

First of all, he was the one who asked for a second date. Then he turned around and made it seem like I wanted it. Fine, no big deal. And when I asked what time can he make it on the day he said he's free, he actually asked me 'what's up?'! Joke of the Century man! After the Prank of the Century, which in case you've yet to figure out, is of me being dumped so unceremoniously! I told him it's alright, just call when he feels like seeing me. Yea... and I'll see if I can make it then. Bleah.

And, I've also decided that should he ever come up to me when we meet in the pub, I'm going to say this straight in his face: 'you know, I liked you. A lot. But it's a pity you never made clear just how you feel.' Spiteful? You're damn right it is. I want him to know that if he was ever interested, he was the one who let the chance slipped by. Not because I was not interested.

I think I need to take a really really looo......nnng sabbatical on men. Can't handle it anymore. Don't want to handle it anymore.

And what in the world is HIS fucking problem? When HE sees me online but refuses to contact me? Is HE avoiding me? Ok, cool girl... I guess if I'm this upset it speaks volume about how I feel still right? About HIM and me...

I feel like I'm being pushed around here by these two men and they are having alot of amusement out of me. Stupid shit.

Ramble ramble.....