Cough's quite bad. S said I sounded quite sexy. Haha. Yea right. Went to the doctor's today and he said he's going to treat me as if for asthma though it's not that yet... Medicine making me quite light-headed. Then again, not sure if it's really the medication or because my trainer messaged me today. Hehe...
After asking if he (the trainer, who else) is still interested in the second date we left it at that last night. This afternoon he texted me and asked if I had made plans for it yet. So does that mean he is as eager as I am to meet again? Hmm... Talking, or rather trying to talk, to him is such a torture. He never answers my questions straight and is so stingy with his replies, always so vague. Like when I asked him if it has been 'out of sight, out of mind' to him or was it 'absence makes the heart fonder' and he had to say 'depends'. Which got me calling him anal for being so difficult with his replies. To which he answered 'sometimes'. I did not understand what he meant and asked if he meant he did think of me sometimes or is he sometimes anal. Haha... He said 'both'. Hmm... Does that mean anything? Should I get all worked up yet? I guess if I want answers I have to go ask him in the face, no point texting him anyway...
Chatted for a while with him after I got home from the doctor's and the more we talked, the more I feel he is so similar with the other HIM. In the way they think and they way they handle things, the way they view the world and the way they are. I was afraid for a moment. Because I was thinking if I want to be in a similar situation and position again, where I have to handle the same kind of temperaments and behaviours and accept the same kind of handling, if, anything happens between us. Then I thought: 'Hey! I've got experience now, I know what to do now. I know how to handle such men now. Do I still have any problems? Only if my pride and obstinance gets in the way again like before.' Then I reminded myself also that I am not seeking anything here. I have no commitment to anyone or anything I do not want to commit to. I have no worries. I do not have to worry.
Oh by the way, just in case some of you are wondering or have yet to figure out, the guy whose arms I was in is my brother. Haha, it sure helps having a brother you can go pubbing with. The benefits are mutual. I think it is so cool too, to be able to bond with your family to the extent you can go have fun with them like this. My mum used to tease that I hang on to my dad's arm like my sugar-daddy. Haha, but that was a long long time ago. We do not even walk near each other now, much less hold on to him so affectionately. Sometimes I wonder too what changed? Was it simply because I've grown up or we just grown apart. I do feel sad that I am not close to my dad and that he has so many issues with me. But that is another story for another entry another time...
I started blogging to let my friends have a little more insight to my mind and to save myself the trouble of having to repeat my encounters so many times to different people but it does not seem to have helped. If anything, I do believe I have only achieved confusing my friends more. Oops. Haha.
Ramble ramble.....
