S told me that Dumbz remarked to her mine is the saddest blog he's ever read. I think it's the saddest blog I've ever read too. I hate this feeling of not being able to let go. I hate being affected to the point I can't do anything. I hate waking up in the middle of the night in cold sweat or crying myself to bed. I hate thinking of him every corner I turn every step I take.

I tried hating him, it didn't last very long so it doesn't work very well. I know I've changed. Where once I would be hot and bothered about many things I now just laugh at it and wave it away. Things that I once wouldn't even consider I now don't mind trying out. Is this a pathway to doom or a road to more open-minded lifestyle? Have I learnt to be more accepting or just plain undiscerning?

Ramble ramble.....