It's a friday afternoon. I'm off work. And I'm home, alone. No where to go and no one to go out with... sigh. Why did I even claim time-off then.... I know where and who I want to spend time with but then.... I hate this feeling.

Saw him online but either he's keeping away from me or he hasn't noticed I'm online yet. Do I msg him? Should I? Am I putting myself up for another round of bashing? ARGH!!!! I almost went to his home just now. For what I'm not saying. Those who know can't understand why anyway and I don't want to explain myself anymore. Anyhow, seeing that he's online probably means he's home and I'm glad I didn't go in the end.... Wouldn't know what to say if I saw him.

I miss him so much... Been thinking about him alot these few days. All the memories of what we did just kept flooding back unconsciously... Some sort of sick perverse pleasure in the pain of remembering.... did I mention I'm a masochistic-sadist? Wahahahaha.....