I do feel pretty isolated nowadays. Sometimes downright lonely. Friends and people I once held close never call or enquire about me anymore. Drifted away somehow.

Did I drive them away?

I just wanted to assert myself and my opinions. I am tired of always being the understanding one and being the one to give in and concede all the time. Just because I voice out my wants and thoughts does not mean I am egoistic or selfish. How about trying to understand me for once if we are really such good friends?

Then again, maybe friendships lost mean time to make new friends. Time to grow and mature. Time to move on.

Sounds cruel? The world was never kind to me in the first place.

Who cared to ask how did my day go?

Who is concerned about how I am feeling?

Who tried to make me feel important?

Last night, my father was gushing on about his friend's daughter and how talented she is to take part in a singing competition. When did he ever feel proud of anything I have done? Attending my performances were always a chore to him and he always rather stay home to watch tv. I could count on my fingers the number of times he was in the audience throughout my years of singing and dancing. Yet I lost count of the number of times he had hit me and tore me down.

Don't come telling me I am hard and harsh. I never experienced gentleness from the world.

I hate my life.