I am writing to clarify some points here:

1) I like my job. Very much. It is the people I am working with and for that I do not like.

2) My job is not exactly the antagonist in my life. I am upset or stressed not so much because of work or even the people at work.

3) Maybe I am asking too much from others; but most times friends and family are what really get me down.

4) I guess I am too much of a perfectionist and idealist when it comes to how I would like my life and people in it to be.

I do have some plans that I am considering and working on for my career. So it is not exactly the doldrum that I am in now. Rather, due to internal or external factors, I feel more let down by friends and family. Friends mean alot to me. They are what keep me sane. But it is not judgement I am looking for from them. Not necessarily understanding either in my actions. But a respect for my choices. I do not tell you how to live your life or judge you on what you did. Why are you upset with me because I prefer to stick by my choices and decisions? Are you upset with what I did or who I am? Can you just stand by me and be my friend?

In any case, I do admit perhaps I am looking for self-assurances in the wrong places and expecting it from the wrong people. Perhaps I only need answer to myself then I will feel better and less judged and scrutinised.