I am suspicious of people being nice to me, always have. Ever since I was young and especially during the teen years. Whenever someone was nice to me, especially a guy, I will question why. Both directly at the person and inwardly at myself. I never could 100% trust that someone was being nice to me for no reason. Even when I was in love. I would always ask why I was loved. How I must have tortured my ex. Haha...

That does not mean I cannot be or am not nice to be simply because I am sincere and altruistic. That is another entry for another day.

In my life, I only ever felt really secure in the love of my grandma. She was the only one I believe truly love me for me.