Too tired last night to ramble....

I saw him online yesterday and the conclusion is that he's not contacting me on purpose. Anyway, it's alright because I didn't really feel like I used to when I saw him online previously. I am pleased to say I was quite at peace. On the other hand I can't lie and say I am totally devoid of feelings of any sort cos that's not true. I did feel a twinge of sadness and regret here and there, now and then but it's not strong enough to being me down anymore. Do I still love him? I think I still do and always will but I have simply decided that it shall be kept away in a corner and never be mentioned anymore, but maybe on my dying day... haha. Haiz...

My mum's been asking why am I hanging out so often with a group of guys where I'm the only girl. Ha, what's wrong? I'm not leading anybody on, we are hanging out together on our own free will each of us and we are simply good friends who happened to be 99% male and 1% female. They are treating me like a guy anyway, cursing and swearing in front of me, and they don't cut me any slack just because I wear skirts. They 'suan' me all the same.... And to all my other friends who are wondering the same, we just get along. Period. Although we've not known each other for long and the circumstances under which we met I'd rather not repeat, we are able to communicate and understand one another quite well. So there.

The irony of life is really just so. I've refused to exercise or even visit the gym he was working at in the past, even when he can get me a free pass for a week. I hated hanging out at drinking holes and balked at the thought of doing anything more physical than getting into bed. And now here I am, going for drinking sesssions so often and always thinking of the next physical activity to do. I even went down to collect the 2-weeks free pass to California Fitness I won in a lucky draw yesterday. haha.... Ok no I didn't turn into an alcoholic or pubbing queen, just that I'm no longer adverse to the idea of hanging out at such places. Tennis anyone? Or maybe you'd like to go down to the gym with me these two weeks, I've got a pretty cute looking trainer.....haha. My mum called me dumb this morning, for not making full use of the 'free' one I had before. And she admonished me for not being giving in to him enough, God if she knew how much and what I've given him I don't think she'll be saying this anymore...

Anyway, one damper. The principal of St. Marg's Secondary passed away yesterday. Just saw it in the newspaper. Although I was not her student but I've worked with her before. I don't know her that well and there are comments I'd keep to myself now but I can see she really loved the school and she did do quite a lot to give the school the exposure and recognition it is getting today. It's still sad when someone you know leaves suddenly. Maybe I'll pop by her memorial service on Wednesday during lunch.

Ramble ramble.....