Is anyone eager or even interested to know what happened last night? Or should I say, the night before last??? Hee hee, don't care I shall say it anyway. I had a nice time, really. Never imagined that one day I'd step into a pub thumping with music and all smoky and still have fun, but I did. I admit I was too anal-retentive before and always thinking how it is so not me therefore I am not open or receptive to invitations to such places.... Walking in to the place with my friend I noticed how men turn and looked at us (not just me k, my friend also very chio one). When we sat at the bar, the gazes followed too and they kept coming back. It did feel good after everything that has happened to know that you are still getting second looks, guess it helped soothe the bruised ego a little of being dumped so unceremoniously...

And just as I was enjoying the company, the music and the conversation, he just had to pop into my mind and disrupt the good feelings... haiz. Suddenly I was thinking how nice it'd be to come with him to the pub, what it'd be like if he were there with me... Shitty isn't it?

The conversation with my friend almost sparked a flicker of hope in me but I quashed it before it had a chance to start flaming. She's now engaged to her boyfriend. They too had a period where they separated from each other. It was a long time but they got back anyway. Hearing it made my heart surge a little with the thought that just maybe, I might still stand a chance too. But, before the thoughts suddenly run away with a will of their own, I gave myself a mental slap and woke myself to reality and my commitment to lift everything to God. It's hard, but as Time helps to numb the pain, it gets easier to brush things aside and pretend it isn't there. I still want a family, a husband to cook for and children to care for. My own home to clean for. But sadly, these dreams still have him in them, and try as I might, right now I cannot imagine otherwise. Therefore, I told myself, I'm not going to think such things anymore.

Barni was hilarious. As I came through the gates, it hopped to 'greet' me and started sniffing my shoes (newly bought!) and tried nibbling at them, wouldn't leave me alone even as I tried to move away... haha. And then, when it realised I've put my shoes where it can't reach it decides to smell my smelly feet instead. Hahahaha..... Ooh, and I think I will call it 'BAI MEI' (meaning 'white brows') because it's got such long white brows sticking out all over the place. Kekekeke.... And also because of that funny Hong Kong actor in Quentin Tarantino's Kill Bill 2.

Tomorrow another exciting day, but I'll wait till tomorrow to tell you... :D

Ramble ramble.....