I don't know why I'm feeling the way I do. But the more I try to work it out the more confused I get. I had the weirdest dream ever last night. I was in a wedding gown and I was getting married. Standing next to me however was HIM one minute and then when I looked again it was my trainer. haha.... They are so similar, one reminds me so much of the other and it's not just the profession. Their characters and behaviours all mirror each other so much. Of course, the new guy is much more mature having had gone through more and being older. I can't even tell if I am attracted to my trainer because of his looks and wit or because he reminds me of him?! Then again, last night's date was quite anti-climatic after Friday evening's highly-charged flirting session. But wait, was it all just on my part only? Hmm... Anyway, don't intend to see or contact the new fellow anymore after my session with him on Wednesday. Previously, I had to put up with thinking of HIM everyday, now, I got to make room for a second guy, so tiring!

Honestly, this is only the third time I've ever felt something for a guy. And my problem is, I hate waiting around for things to happen. I'm always jumping the gun to find out for myself 'what now'. I have no patience to 'let Time run its course'. I hate wasting time guessing and second guessing what the other person is thinking or wants. Just tell me straight.

Sigh. Guess that's about as much as I can figure out for now.

Ramble ramble.....