1, 2, 3 Hop.

4, 5, 6 Skip.

7, 8, 9 Twirl around and round.

Sigh...

Was out with my Pretty and bro last night. Went down to MS again with them. Fact is I was not the only one who wanted to step back into 'the pub'. Unfortunately other than being packed, we couldn't find our reasons to stay on either. Headed down to N.B. and stayed there the rest of the night. Left early. Too tired.

So where did he go last night? *ponders deeply*

It's only the third day. Another 11 days more to go before I can punch in his number. Hopefully by then I'll feel so much better, surer and clearer-minded. It's terrifying to crawl out of one cesspool only to fall into another one.

I think I have this incessant need to be loved and to love, almost to the brink of being obsessive. It's not healthy. I'm just tying a noose around myself and the other person. Was that why HE left? Or is it because HE left that I now have this insane fear and insecurity? Really, honestly, I think I should stay away from men and relationships for a long long long time. I wouldn't be rational if anything happens now. $W%&Gh^F(% the trainer for appearing in my life now. Everything was just settling down nicely. Now I'm jolted out of place again.

Thought on a tandem: if he doesn't hang out there on Friday nights, then it has to mean he really deliberately brought himself down last Friday when I said I'll be down. Why? He didn't call me when he got down anyway. What's his game?

Poor Bel, all her ramblings are always about men. Mindless clueless men.

Oohhh..... I feel like I'm about to explode. Got to keep busy otherwise my fingers are gonna do their own walking to the phone and start texting him. URGH! Don't flirt with me if you are not interested in me. Wimp. Can't even follow through the flirting and teasing. All talk and no action.

1, 2, 3 Jump.

4, 5, 6 Curl.

7, 8, 9 Fall.

Ramble ramble.....