Just a thought for the holidays:
Is it better to have someone and yet not be able to spend the holidays with him?
Or
Is it better to have no one at all so one need not feel let down?
Christmases is sometimes a lonely time for many.
Happy holidays.
Monday, December 26, 2005
Guess what someone calls me? Haha...
Beloved by all, puppies are energetic, playful, and loving. Your outgoing and friendly nature is part of what makes you a puppy. Known for their loyalty, puppies make great pets for young and old alike. And an innocent puppy face can melt anyone's heart!
You were almost a: Kitten or a Bear Cub
You are least like a: Groundhog or a DucklingWhat Cute Animal Are You?
You Are A: Puppy!
Beloved by all, puppies are energetic, playful, and loving. Your outgoing and friendly nature is part of what makes you a puppy. Known for their loyalty, puppies make great pets for young and old alike. And an innocent puppy face can melt anyone's heart!You were almost a: Kitten or a Bear Cub
You are least like a: Groundhog or a DucklingWhat Cute Animal Are You?
Sunday, December 25, 2005
It is strange how some people see you as inspiring, while others just think you are a hypocrite.
It is even stranger how some people warm to you on the first meeting while some may not know you even after years.
Sometime I am at a loss too if I should continue moving forward or stop and rest my feet a little. If I should go for what I want, or just let nature take its course.
There is never a clear answer I guess. Only how right it feels to you at that moment in time.
The split second decision to go or stay.
It is even stranger how some people warm to you on the first meeting while some may not know you even after years.
Sometime I am at a loss too if I should continue moving forward or stop and rest my feet a little. If I should go for what I want, or just let nature take its course.
There is never a clear answer I guess. Only how right it feels to you at that moment in time.
The split second decision to go or stay.
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
There are a hundred and one things I can blog about. A thousand and one things are going through my mind. And just a few weighing down my heart.
Then again, sometimes I wonder why bother opening up a can of worms if people are happy the way things are and you are better off forgotten.
Perhaps it is for an attempt at self-justification or clarification. Then again, does it matter to anyone?
Christmas is coming. I hate Christmases. Always have for a long time.
And if I refuse to go church on 364 other days, I will not be a hypocrite and be found in church on Christmas morning.
It does not mean a thing to me or God.
Then again, sometimes I wonder why bother opening up a can of worms if people are happy the way things are and you are better off forgotten.
Perhaps it is for an attempt at self-justification or clarification. Then again, does it matter to anyone?
Christmas is coming. I hate Christmases. Always have for a long time.
And if I refuse to go church on 364 other days, I will not be a hypocrite and be found in church on Christmas morning.
It does not mean a thing to me or God.
Sunday, December 11, 2005
The other night I was at this corporate function where someone asked me what I do for leisure. Usually I will just say I sleep any free time I get. But that night, the impromptu reply was that 'I volunteer'. Haha. Yep. And I enjoy myself very much. While I am not the type who is comfortable with one-on-one interaction, even while I was working at the nursing home, I do find it very meaningful doing my bit for people who really need whatever I have to give. So no, I have not learnt how to read to the elderly or feed the young, I am enjoying planning all sorts of activities to better their lives; whether it is fundraising for the poor, collecting books for the young, or simply arranging a makeover session for the old and lonely.
I have come to strongly advocate that it is not whether you can, but if you will. It does not take a lot of time or money, just a little committment once in a while. Everyone has the same number of hours in a day, it is how we choose to spend them. Granted, often people who do not volunteer because they do not how to get about it, not because they are not willing. It certainly makes everything alot more fun and persuasive if you join a group of like-minded people to get things going. I am glad that I found mine.
It is tiring no doubt, on top of the hectic work life and minimal social life. But definitely worth every bit of it. If any of you are interested just give me a call. No obligation to join but you are welcome to sit in whatever meeting or activities we have. Volunteering is not all about depressing issues and people. Often the fellowship with other volunteers are very meaningful too, not to mention enriching.
Go on, find a cause you are passionate about or always wanted to be involved in. Then ask around how you can be involved. It often is so much easier than we all think.
Be a volunteer.
I have come to strongly advocate that it is not whether you can, but if you will. It does not take a lot of time or money, just a little committment once in a while. Everyone has the same number of hours in a day, it is how we choose to spend them. Granted, often people who do not volunteer because they do not how to get about it, not because they are not willing. It certainly makes everything alot more fun and persuasive if you join a group of like-minded people to get things going. I am glad that I found mine.
It is tiring no doubt, on top of the hectic work life and minimal social life. But definitely worth every bit of it. If any of you are interested just give me a call. No obligation to join but you are welcome to sit in whatever meeting or activities we have. Volunteering is not all about depressing issues and people. Often the fellowship with other volunteers are very meaningful too, not to mention enriching.
Go on, find a cause you are passionate about or always wanted to be involved in. Then ask around how you can be involved. It often is so much easier than we all think.
Be a volunteer.
Friday, December 02, 2005
I have been sneezing non-stop, but the good thing is it seems to be tailing off as it is not as numerous or violent anymore. And I am beginning to sleep better at night because I can breathe again. No more jerking awake from suffocation. Seriously.
I have been officially confirmed at my workplace, even though it was not suppose to be until February next year. Well, I have not received the letter yet but it was an official announcement at the management meeting on Monday this week. One of the older staff pointed out I am one of the rarity, since the company was started. Only one or two other people before me long, long time ago was confirmed before the probation ended.
And it comes with an increment too. Not sure how much yet. Hope it will not slip through the fingers...
Anyway, I am happy with the path my work is moving along this year. Maybe it is becoming a career. Why not?
On a side note, I am not too sure what is expected of me in some other quarters. Hey, what am I suppose to think or do if no one bothers with me? So am I in or out? If I am in is it because I squeezed my way through? If I am out, was I left out or did I opt out somehow? Why am I always expected to smile and accept whatever is thrown my way but I cannot ever express displeasure of any sort. Or I get condemned. It does get sickening.
Well, whatever. It is definitely not because I am not affected or bothered. Rather it is because I have promised myself that I will treat myself nicer this year and I will not allow anything external to affect how I feel. And I cannot remember whining so much about life this year anyway. So things must be good generally still.
I am thinking I might need to make a trip to me KL office again sometime this month but it does not seem that I have any empty slots left on the calendar. Too many things to finish before the year ends. Too many projects outside of work.
I am tired, but in a warm fuzzy sort of way. The kind you can unconsciously doze off to sleep, gently and deeply. Nice.
I have been officially confirmed at my workplace, even though it was not suppose to be until February next year. Well, I have not received the letter yet but it was an official announcement at the management meeting on Monday this week. One of the older staff pointed out I am one of the rarity, since the company was started. Only one or two other people before me long, long time ago was confirmed before the probation ended.
And it comes with an increment too. Not sure how much yet. Hope it will not slip through the fingers...
Anyway, I am happy with the path my work is moving along this year. Maybe it is becoming a career. Why not?
On a side note, I am not too sure what is expected of me in some other quarters. Hey, what am I suppose to think or do if no one bothers with me? So am I in or out? If I am in is it because I squeezed my way through? If I am out, was I left out or did I opt out somehow? Why am I always expected to smile and accept whatever is thrown my way but I cannot ever express displeasure of any sort. Or I get condemned. It does get sickening.
Well, whatever. It is definitely not because I am not affected or bothered. Rather it is because I have promised myself that I will treat myself nicer this year and I will not allow anything external to affect how I feel. And I cannot remember whining so much about life this year anyway. So things must be good generally still.
I am thinking I might need to make a trip to me KL office again sometime this month but it does not seem that I have any empty slots left on the calendar. Too many things to finish before the year ends. Too many projects outside of work.
I am tired, but in a warm fuzzy sort of way. The kind you can unconsciously doze off to sleep, gently and deeply. Nice.
Saturday, November 26, 2005
Ok, the year has gone by almost in a breeze. Before I go any further, below is a list of what I had planned to do for today, and what I DID do. Ha.
0930 Get out of bed
1230 Crawled out of bed
1030 Get the laundry done
Laundry is still in the basket
1130 Clean up my room and change the sheets
Room is still a mess and the sheets are still as it was
1230 Get lunch
1400 Got lunch
1400 Be at Esplanade for an appointment
1530 Left house with parents
So you see, basically whatever I had planned did not go exactly as I wanted. All because I slept late. But it is not my fault really, not that I am a lazy bum. Rather, it was because I must have stopped breathing at least four or five times last night because of my sinus and thus did not sleep well and so caused me to sleep in this morning. Sigh, the doctor said I can either have an operation, but it will recur few years down the road, or live with the problem OR, I can be on long-term medication, which means continually feeding my system with steriods and antibiotics. Not very attractive options. So I decided to live with it as long as I can. Well, at least I am happy.
Life has been pretty amazing this year. I got out of an unhappy work environment, found a job I like, working with people I can agree with; just received news of an early confirmation and an increment. Travelled more than I ever did the past 25 years, met more people and learnt more things of life than I had. More importantly, I am beginning to feel good about myself again after so long. I must say though a huge part of it has to do with me adjusting my attitude towards life and learning what should be my priorities and who should be my critics. It is not about surrounding myself with people who only say nice things about me, it is about being around people who are honest yet non-judgemental to me.
I have had a fruitful time this year. No regrets. No grudges.
0930 Get out of bed
1230 Crawled out of bed
1030 Get the laundry done
Laundry is still in the basket
1130 Clean up my room and change the sheets
Room is still a mess and the sheets are still as it was
1230 Get lunch
1400 Got lunch
1400 Be at Esplanade for an appointment
1530 Left house with parents
So you see, basically whatever I had planned did not go exactly as I wanted. All because I slept late. But it is not my fault really, not that I am a lazy bum. Rather, it was because I must have stopped breathing at least four or five times last night because of my sinus and thus did not sleep well and so caused me to sleep in this morning. Sigh, the doctor said I can either have an operation, but it will recur few years down the road, or live with the problem OR, I can be on long-term medication, which means continually feeding my system with steriods and antibiotics. Not very attractive options. So I decided to live with it as long as I can. Well, at least I am happy.
Life has been pretty amazing this year. I got out of an unhappy work environment, found a job I like, working with people I can agree with; just received news of an early confirmation and an increment. Travelled more than I ever did the past 25 years, met more people and learnt more things of life than I had. More importantly, I am beginning to feel good about myself again after so long. I must say though a huge part of it has to do with me adjusting my attitude towards life and learning what should be my priorities and who should be my critics. It is not about surrounding myself with people who only say nice things about me, it is about being around people who are honest yet non-judgemental to me.
I have had a fruitful time this year. No regrets. No grudges.
Sunday, November 06, 2005
yep, that is me below. Haha. I like a good dose of fun and plafulyness around me. Alright, not THAT quiet. But can be...
| Men See You As Understated |
 You are an intriguing mix of girl and woman. You're feminine, quiet, and a total mystery to most men. Yet they often feel the urge to protect you, even if they don't know you. You *are* a flirt, but you usually only flirt with those you know well |
Friday, November 04, 2005
Well, in case I had put my foot in my mouth or my nose where it is not wanted again, I just want to state I only want to see my friends happy and happy with their choices and decisions.
I am not philosophising or trying to act high and mighty. Just sharing what I had learnt and gone through myself. But I must admit that everyone has a different experience and concluding perspective.
I just honestly believe that no one can make you happy but yourself and no one should make you sad but yourself.
It feels like the time has come for me to exorcise all my demons and face some facts and test some truths that has been waiting for me all these while.
If you are reading this and you get an unexpected call from me, please let us just talk.
I am not philosophising or trying to act high and mighty. Just sharing what I had learnt and gone through myself. But I must admit that everyone has a different experience and concluding perspective.
I just honestly believe that no one can make you happy but yourself and no one should make you sad but yourself.
It feels like the time has come for me to exorcise all my demons and face some facts and test some truths that has been waiting for me all these while.
If you are reading this and you get an unexpected call from me, please let us just talk.
Thursday, November 03, 2005
| Your Element is Earth |
 Your power color: yellow Your energy: balancing Your season: changing of seasons Dedicated and responsible, you are a rock to your friends. You are skilled at working out even the most difficult problems. Low key and calm, you are happiest when you are around loved ones. Ambitious and goal oriented, you have long term plans to be successful. |
Well, I have comments these two weeks that I am beginning to dress like an auntie. Haha...
| Your Fashion Style is Girly |
 You dress to look beautiful and show off what you've got Dresses, skirts, heels... whatever it takes to turn heads You love feeling like a girl in any setting Even your workout clothes are cute and feminine! |
I am not a cat person. More of a dog person. Friends who know me will know. But these few days, I cannot help but lose my heart to a little kitty my brother brought home to cat-sit for his friend. Still a baby, a sweet one. I do feel bad having to keep him caged up within a small area we fenced up just for him. Yes, it is a him. Will try to post pictures some day, soon.
Well, I have decided to make one last attempt to salvage something. A relationship. A friendship. A history. A part of me. I do not want to look back and have to confess I just let it slip. It will not be easy or straightforward. But it will be necessary. Well, I owe it to myself I guess.
It will be pointless now to say who is right or wrong. It is not the issue anymore anyway. I just want to move on with a clear conscience and mind, I hate having unresolved issues hanging around me... Of course, it is not all my call. Everyone has a right to decide what they want.
I quite enjoy my current work and colleagues BUT I do not like that I do not get paid on time. It is not fair. I cannot understand why no one ranted against it. Why no one objected to it and raised opinions about it. No one is happy but everyone just accepts it grudgingly.
Weird. I shall spend some time considering if I will accept this nonsense as well...
Ha.
Well, I have decided to make one last attempt to salvage something. A relationship. A friendship. A history. A part of me. I do not want to look back and have to confess I just let it slip. It will not be easy or straightforward. But it will be necessary. Well, I owe it to myself I guess.
It will be pointless now to say who is right or wrong. It is not the issue anymore anyway. I just want to move on with a clear conscience and mind, I hate having unresolved issues hanging around me... Of course, it is not all my call. Everyone has a right to decide what they want.
I quite enjoy my current work and colleagues BUT I do not like that I do not get paid on time. It is not fair. I cannot understand why no one ranted against it. Why no one objected to it and raised opinions about it. No one is happy but everyone just accepts it grudgingly.
Weird. I shall spend some time considering if I will accept this nonsense as well...
Ha.
