Ok, the year has gone by almost in a breeze. Before I go any further, below is a list of what I had planned to do for today, and what I DID do. Ha.
0930 Get out of bed
1230 Crawled out of bed
1030 Get the laundry done
Laundry is still in the basket
1130 Clean up my room and change the sheets
Room is still a mess and the sheets are still as it was
1230 Get lunch
1400 Got lunch
1400 Be at Esplanade for an appointment
1530 Left house with parents
So you see, basically whatever I had planned did not go exactly as I wanted. All because I slept late. But it is not my fault really, not that I am a lazy bum. Rather, it was because I must have stopped breathing at least four or five times last night because of my sinus and thus did not sleep well and so caused me to sleep in this morning. Sigh, the doctor said I can either have an operation, but it will recur few years down the road, or live with the problem OR, I can be on long-term medication, which means continually feeding my system with steriods and antibiotics. Not very attractive options. So I decided to live with it as long as I can. Well, at least I am happy.
Life has been pretty amazing this year. I got out of an unhappy work environment, found a job I like, working with people I can agree with; just received news of an early confirmation and an increment. Travelled more than I ever did the past 25 years, met more people and learnt more things of life than I had. More importantly, I am beginning to feel good about myself again after so long. I must say though a huge part of it has to do with me adjusting my attitude towards life and learning what should be my priorities and who should be my critics. It is not about surrounding myself with people who only say nice things about me, it is about being around people who are honest yet non-judgemental to me.
I have had a fruitful time this year. No regrets. No grudges.
Sunday, November 06, 2005
yep, that is me below. Haha. I like a good dose of fun and plafulyness around me. Alright, not THAT quiet. But can be...
| Men See You As Understated |
 You are an intriguing mix of girl and woman. You're feminine, quiet, and a total mystery to most men. Yet they often feel the urge to protect you, even if they don't know you. You *are* a flirt, but you usually only flirt with those you know well |
Friday, November 04, 2005
Well, in case I had put my foot in my mouth or my nose where it is not wanted again, I just want to state I only want to see my friends happy and happy with their choices and decisions.
I am not philosophising or trying to act high and mighty. Just sharing what I had learnt and gone through myself. But I must admit that everyone has a different experience and concluding perspective.
I just honestly believe that no one can make you happy but yourself and no one should make you sad but yourself.
It feels like the time has come for me to exorcise all my demons and face some facts and test some truths that has been waiting for me all these while.
If you are reading this and you get an unexpected call from me, please let us just talk.
I am not philosophising or trying to act high and mighty. Just sharing what I had learnt and gone through myself. But I must admit that everyone has a different experience and concluding perspective.
I just honestly believe that no one can make you happy but yourself and no one should make you sad but yourself.
It feels like the time has come for me to exorcise all my demons and face some facts and test some truths that has been waiting for me all these while.
If you are reading this and you get an unexpected call from me, please let us just talk.
Thursday, November 03, 2005
| Your Element is Earth |
 Your power color: yellow Your energy: balancing Your season: changing of seasons Dedicated and responsible, you are a rock to your friends. You are skilled at working out even the most difficult problems. Low key and calm, you are happiest when you are around loved ones. Ambitious and goal oriented, you have long term plans to be successful. |
Well, I have comments these two weeks that I am beginning to dress like an auntie. Haha...
| Your Fashion Style is Girly |
 You dress to look beautiful and show off what you've got Dresses, skirts, heels... whatever it takes to turn heads You love feeling like a girl in any setting Even your workout clothes are cute and feminine! |
I am not a cat person. More of a dog person. Friends who know me will know. But these few days, I cannot help but lose my heart to a little kitty my brother brought home to cat-sit for his friend. Still a baby, a sweet one. I do feel bad having to keep him caged up within a small area we fenced up just for him. Yes, it is a him. Will try to post pictures some day, soon.
Well, I have decided to make one last attempt to salvage something. A relationship. A friendship. A history. A part of me. I do not want to look back and have to confess I just let it slip. It will not be easy or straightforward. But it will be necessary. Well, I owe it to myself I guess.
It will be pointless now to say who is right or wrong. It is not the issue anymore anyway. I just want to move on with a clear conscience and mind, I hate having unresolved issues hanging around me... Of course, it is not all my call. Everyone has a right to decide what they want.
I quite enjoy my current work and colleagues BUT I do not like that I do not get paid on time. It is not fair. I cannot understand why no one ranted against it. Why no one objected to it and raised opinions about it. No one is happy but everyone just accepts it grudgingly.
Weird. I shall spend some time considering if I will accept this nonsense as well...
Ha.
Well, I have decided to make one last attempt to salvage something. A relationship. A friendship. A history. A part of me. I do not want to look back and have to confess I just let it slip. It will not be easy or straightforward. But it will be necessary. Well, I owe it to myself I guess.
It will be pointless now to say who is right or wrong. It is not the issue anymore anyway. I just want to move on with a clear conscience and mind, I hate having unresolved issues hanging around me... Of course, it is not all my call. Everyone has a right to decide what they want.
I quite enjoy my current work and colleagues BUT I do not like that I do not get paid on time. It is not fair. I cannot understand why no one ranted against it. Why no one objected to it and raised opinions about it. No one is happy but everyone just accepts it grudgingly.
Weird. I shall spend some time considering if I will accept this nonsense as well...
Ha.
Saturday, October 29, 2005
I am watching a show, and there is this scene where the female lead is telling the male lead to forget their past love:
'I have stopped loving you. I am sorry. Please forget me. I see what's going on in your life now know you have a new love; and seeing you happy makes me contented. Neverending pining is too painful. It is sometimes a blessing to be able to let go of a love. Start afresh and hold on to the present love, because when there is an expiry date, it makes the love all the more valuable.'
I just want to tell my friends and anyone who is reading this that letting go of your love over someone does not mean you do not care about the person anymore. It only means your love for the person has entered another level, and that you have learnt to love yourself better too. I have every right to say this because I have been through this too. There was a time when I was hurting and pining and wishing I could turn back the clock and stop Time. But I realised that I have to let go of that relationship in order to treasure it more, and that I owe it to myself to live a happier life. It is only now that I have let go that I can look back and smile and appreciate what I had before; and learnt that I should treasure whatever I have right now even more, before it is time to let that go as well.
It is said that the only constant in life is change. Things change, feelings change and so do people. Only when we learn to take things easy that we are better able to appreciate the present. Otherwise in our midst of pining and longing, we too will take the things in front of us for granted too.
Some of my friends are feeling really low, some so stressed by work. I just want to say that happiness is a state of mind that you decide to be in. No one can bring you happiness if you refuse to let go of your sadness. Life will not be pleasant if your attitude is that it sucks. I learnt this the hard way.
So please, love yourself a bit more. Tell yourself only you can bring yourself happiness. No one else has the ability to affect you if you do not allow them to.
On a lighter note, I was at Sentosa last Saturday with some of my colleagues. It has been almost a decade since I willingly and knowingly agree to an outdoor event which I know I will sure get tanned under the sun. True enough, before the day was over I was burning on my chest and shoulders. Then I suffered the fate of a peeling face and chapped lips, despite all efforts to moisturise and 'damage-control'. I come to the conclusion that I was right to have avoided the sun for almost a decade. I really look funny tanned. Now that I am peeling on my face it does not make things any better... AND the hilarious thing is, I now have a palm-like print across my upper back. The amazing thing is that this print is not a tanned or burnt print. Instead, it was like someone had put his hand on my back while I was under the sun so that all other parts of my back is tanned except where the hand was. Eerie right? At first when my colleagues pointed out to me we thought it was white spots. But when I went home and took a closer look I saw that it looked like a palm on my back. The stranger thing was this print did not turn up till it was two days after the tan. It was not there on Saturday evening itself. I told my mum I must have been given a palm strike by a ghost during the night. Just like I used to have mysterious bruises over me few years back when I wake up in the morning. Heh.
Well, no low back for the time being.
'I have stopped loving you. I am sorry. Please forget me. I see what's going on in your life now know you have a new love; and seeing you happy makes me contented. Neverending pining is too painful. It is sometimes a blessing to be able to let go of a love. Start afresh and hold on to the present love, because when there is an expiry date, it makes the love all the more valuable.'
I just want to tell my friends and anyone who is reading this that letting go of your love over someone does not mean you do not care about the person anymore. It only means your love for the person has entered another level, and that you have learnt to love yourself better too. I have every right to say this because I have been through this too. There was a time when I was hurting and pining and wishing I could turn back the clock and stop Time. But I realised that I have to let go of that relationship in order to treasure it more, and that I owe it to myself to live a happier life. It is only now that I have let go that I can look back and smile and appreciate what I had before; and learnt that I should treasure whatever I have right now even more, before it is time to let that go as well.
It is said that the only constant in life is change. Things change, feelings change and so do people. Only when we learn to take things easy that we are better able to appreciate the present. Otherwise in our midst of pining and longing, we too will take the things in front of us for granted too.
Some of my friends are feeling really low, some so stressed by work. I just want to say that happiness is a state of mind that you decide to be in. No one can bring you happiness if you refuse to let go of your sadness. Life will not be pleasant if your attitude is that it sucks. I learnt this the hard way.
So please, love yourself a bit more. Tell yourself only you can bring yourself happiness. No one else has the ability to affect you if you do not allow them to.
On a lighter note, I was at Sentosa last Saturday with some of my colleagues. It has been almost a decade since I willingly and knowingly agree to an outdoor event which I know I will sure get tanned under the sun. True enough, before the day was over I was burning on my chest and shoulders. Then I suffered the fate of a peeling face and chapped lips, despite all efforts to moisturise and 'damage-control'. I come to the conclusion that I was right to have avoided the sun for almost a decade. I really look funny tanned. Now that I am peeling on my face it does not make things any better... AND the hilarious thing is, I now have a palm-like print across my upper back. The amazing thing is that this print is not a tanned or burnt print. Instead, it was like someone had put his hand on my back while I was under the sun so that all other parts of my back is tanned except where the hand was. Eerie right? At first when my colleagues pointed out to me we thought it was white spots. But when I went home and took a closer look I saw that it looked like a palm on my back. The stranger thing was this print did not turn up till it was two days after the tan. It was not there on Saturday evening itself. I told my mum I must have been given a palm strike by a ghost during the night. Just like I used to have mysterious bruises over me few years back when I wake up in the morning. Heh.
Well, no low back for the time being.
Thursday, October 20, 2005
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
I did a search of my name on yahoo search the other day. Hmm, the other person who has the exact same name as me seems like an impressive lady who fights for the rights of coloured women in the States. Well well well. Interesting.
Been very busy and caught up with work. Good thing is I am happy. Seems like some of my friends are not that happy. If I learnt anything this year, it is that attitude plays a very big part in how your life turns out and if you are ever going to be contented or happy with the present.
Sure, life can always be better. But at least it is not any worse right? Being the greedy beings that we are, we will always want more and hope for more. But I keep reminding myself, everything is two-way. You cannot expect always only to take and never give.
Doing a 3-quarters report of my life so far, I got to say it is not all that bad. I got to travel quite a fair bit this year, learnt alot, seen alot; and I am pleased with the path my life is taking now. It sure is getting exciting for me as far as I can see.
Contentment is an elusive thing, easy to explain difficult to practice. I am glad I am feeling contented now.
Nights.
Been very busy and caught up with work. Good thing is I am happy. Seems like some of my friends are not that happy. If I learnt anything this year, it is that attitude plays a very big part in how your life turns out and if you are ever going to be contented or happy with the present.
Sure, life can always be better. But at least it is not any worse right? Being the greedy beings that we are, we will always want more and hope for more. But I keep reminding myself, everything is two-way. You cannot expect always only to take and never give.
Doing a 3-quarters report of my life so far, I got to say it is not all that bad. I got to travel quite a fair bit this year, learnt alot, seen alot; and I am pleased with the path my life is taking now. It sure is getting exciting for me as far as I can see.
Contentment is an elusive thing, easy to explain difficult to practice. I am glad I am feeling contented now.
Nights.